3 min read
The first line
Starting a conversation with a stranger, without rehearsed small talk.
It doesn't need to be clever
The first line only has one job: to show you're open to talking. Nobody remembers it, and nobody is judging it.
A plain question about the shared situation works better than anything prepared. You're both in the same room, so start there.
Use what's in front of you
The event itself is the easiest topic. The talk, the venue, the food, the reason you're both here. It's shared, it's neutral, and it leads somewhere.
- Ask about their connection to the event.
- Ask for their view on something you both just saw.
- Notice something specific and ask about it.
Ask for an opinion, not a fact
"What do you do?" gets a rehearsed answer. A question that invites a view gets a real one, and real answers are easier to follow.
Say: What brought you here tonight?
Say: That talk had a few interesting points. Was there anything you disagreed with?
Say: How do you know the people who organised this?
Say: Have you been to one of these before? Is it usually like this?
Say: This place is lovely. Have you been here before?
Then let them talk
After the first line, your main job is to listen. Most people enjoy being asked about themselves, and a good listener is remembered more warmly than a good talker.